Shamelessly Snarky Healing Necklace for Your "Spiritual Awakening"
This natural Black Onyx stone charm hangs on a raw brass chain (16–18") and delivers a powerful dose of healing humor, funny new age satire, and spiritual sass. Perfect as a quirky gift for yourself or for all the silly billies in your life, this necklace reminds you that life’s too short not to laugh at yourself. If you find yourself offended, well—maybe it’s time for your next spiritual awakening!
The card reads:
Builds strength so you can finally stop crying in your car after every sound bath.
Gives you perseverance—until it’s time to do something you don’t actually want to do.
Reclaims the power you gave away during that pyramid scheme.
Grounds you so you can stop calling your avoidance issues a “vibrational mismatch”.
Radiates just enough energy to go to brunch instead of the gym.
Makes your day-to-day BS somewhat tolerable.
A necklace for those who have corn nuts for muscles.
Enhances Leo, Capricorn, and the ability to tell the difference between a vision board and a cult manifesto.
