Shamelessly Snarky Healing Necklace for Your "Spiritual Awakening"
This natural Labradorite stone charm hangs on a raw brass chain (16–18") and delivers a powerful dose of healing humor, funny new age satire, and spiritual sass. Perfect as a quirky gift for yourself or for all the silly billies in your life, this necklace reminds you that life’s too short not to laugh at yourself. If you find yourself offended, well—maybe it’s time for your next spiritual awakening!
The card reads:
Arouses the imagination better than a tab of LSD.
Gives you confidence like using that hot girl TikTok filter.
Brings messages from your subconscious —like realizing your women’s circle is actually a cult.
For that download you’ve been manifesting.
Fuels fantasies so wild, you'll believe in that “free” seminar and that you can banish taxes with a crystal grid.
Affirms that, yes, your electric toothbrush is indeed the tool for cleansing “past-life karma”.
When you want to feel like a witch but can’t remember your rising sign.
Enhances Leo, Scorpio, and Sagittarius, and your ability to pretend you’re thriving while spiraling.
