Shamelessly Snarky Healing Necklace for Your "Spiritual Awakening"
This natural Rose Quartz stone charm hangs on a raw brass chain (16–18") and delivers a powerful dose of healing humor, funny new age satire, and spiritual sass. Perfect as a quirky gift for yourself or for all the silly billies in your life, this necklace reminds you that life’s too short not to laugh at yourself. If you find yourself offended, well—maybe it’s time for your next spiritual awakening!
The card reads:
Helps strengthen your mediocre relationships—some love is better than none.
The desperate validation starter pack—now with more emotional cling!
Draws relationships toward you—but probably the toxic kinds.
Aids in regaining trust—just in time for your next big disappointment.
Is it love, or do you just need health insurance?
Helps you heal from lost love—mostly by pretending it never happened.
Hits like MDMA but without grinding your teeth and hugging strangers.
Perfect for Taurus and Leos who thrive on power trips
