Shamelessly Snarky Healing Necklace for Your "Spiritual Awakening"
This natural Smoky Quartz stone charm hangs on a raw brass chain (16–18") and delivers a powerful dose of healing humor, funny new age satire, and spiritual sass. Perfect as a quirky gift for yourself or for all the silly billies in your life, this necklace reminds you that life’s too short not to laugh at yourself. If you find yourself offended, well—maybe it’s time for your next spiritual awakening!
The card reads:
Keeps you grounded for when your “divine feminine” starts sounding like a pyramid scheme.
Calms your fears so you can manifest your delusional vision board.
Neutralizes negativity — just kidding, you’re still a hot mess.
Blocks the urge to call yourself a “shaman” after one ayahuasca trip.
Manifests without accidentally hexing yourself.
Because your moon water isn’t strong enough to fix this mood.
Balances your energy so you don’t call your breakdowns a “goddess awakening.”
Enhances Scorpio, Sagittarius, and Capricorn signs— and your talent for pretending your life is a success story.
