Shamelessly Snarky Healing Necklace for Your "Spiritual Awakening"
This natural Amethyst stone charm hangs on a raw brass chain (16–18") and delivers a powerful dose of healing humor, funny new age satire, and spiritual sass. Perfect as a quirky gift for yourself or for all the silly billies in your life, this necklace reminds you that life’s too short not to laugh at yourself. If you find yourself offended, well—maybe it’s time for your next spiritual awakening!
The card reads:
Protects you better than a dental dam —and way cuter.
Brings tranquility like being in a sound bath on ketamine.
Wards off people named Tonya (you know the one).
Soothes like a warm glass of raw milk —but without the bird flu.
Helps you come to terms with loss —you’ll never find that other earring.
Shields you from the bad energy you’re trying to sage out—turns out it’s yours.
Aids in making better decisions —because you make some terrible ones.
Enhances Aries, Aquarius, and Pisces signs —and your natural lubrication.
