Shamelessly Snarky Healing Necklace for Your "Spiritual Awakening"
This natural Green Aventurine stone charm hangs on a raw brass chain (16–18") and delivers a powerful dose of healing humor, funny new age satire, and spiritual sass. Perfect as a quirky gift for yourself or for all the silly billies in your life, this necklace reminds you that life’s too short not to laugh at yourself. If you find yourself offended, well—maybe it’s time for your next spiritual awakening!
The card reads:
It’s giving BDE (Big Dollar Energy).
For when you want money, but like... not if you actually have to work.
Turns your overdraft fees into teachable moments.
Perfect for when the universe “forgets” to Venmo you.
Unlocks your true potential —assuming it was ever locked.
Releases old patterns —paisley never looked good on you.
Brings hope and joy—one day you’ll die, and this BS will be someone else’s problem.
Enhances Aries, Libra, Taurus, Virgo, and all the signs you keep ignoring that you’re in a cult.
