Shamelessly Snarky Healing Necklace for Your "Spiritual Awakening"
This natural Tigers Eye stone charm hangs on a raw brass chain (16–18") and delivers a powerful dose of healing humor, funny new age satire, and spiritual sass. Perfect as a quirky gift for yourself or for all the silly billies in your life, this necklace reminds you that life’s too short not to laugh at yourself. If you find yourself offended, well—maybe it’s time for your next spiritual awakening!
The card reads:
Brings strength and vitality —like eight hours of sleep and a line of cocaine.
Gives you confidence so strong, you’ll almost believe your own excuses.
Helps you boldly face your problems —right after this nap.
Really puts the ‘fight’ in your fight-or-flight response.
Like a pep talk but from a necklace —“You’ve got this” (you clearly don’t).
It won’t always be like this. Things will get worse.
For when you won't shut up about your “past lives” at parties no one invited you to.
Enhances Taurus, Gemini, Leo, and your mother’s bland potato salad.
